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mad_andyI write to my dear friends and readers from the safety of the Sheraton at Charlotte, near the airport. yes folks, Mad Andy is Stateside.
MAKE THE BLOODY MOST OF IT BECAUSE IT AIN'T NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!
I am NOT putting myself through that... that... ridiculous palaver again. And i even dressed like a sodding grownup to avoid hassle. Well, as far as the eagle-eyed, crew-cut, All-American Homeboy behind the desk at Homeland Security went then yeah, it worked. I just lurked behind Slay, gave him my fingerprints and tried to look harmless on camera and we got through in record time.
But the rest of it. Jesus. I swear, one day I'm going through security stark bollock naked and save myself a lot of bloody hassle.
Tell me, what am i going to hide in my boots? The New Rocks, yes. You could hide a lot of shit in those. Thick soles, mysterious metal bits...
But my boxer boots? They're sodding well skin tight!
The truth is that we've lost. We have lost the battle against fear, and it shows in every move you make. Don't smoke in here - you're in the middle of one of the most polluted cities anywhere in London, and people are worried about cigarettes? - don't do this, take this off, let me x ray you, are you up to no good...?
Bah.
But no, we can't x ray you BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET CANCER--
FFS.
Fat chick with bright red boots. Stare. She looks different, should we be afraid? (Let me take this jacket off, really give you something to stare at.) OMG, look away from the big guy, look awaaaaay!
This time they let me through with my lighters, but examined my belt buckle (plain brass) and my nicotine gum very closely. I was tempted to set light to something just to annoy them.
But no, I was a good girl. I did what i was told, endured the cattle-truck of economy air travel, kept my head down, baaaaah. We're sheep. We let ourselves be intimidated and threatened until we lose what little freedom we had just to extend our miserable lives just a little longer. For what purpose? To cower in our foxholes in terror of the next attack? Bah. Sheep.
But the love I have for flying hasn't diminished; there is nothing like the feeling of looking down onto the clouds, feeling the winds vibrate the metal tube you're riding, look over the horizon and want to point the nose of the aircraft for that cloud formation there and see what's on the other side of it...
As the Road calls to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rathenar, the Sky calls to me.
*Sigh*
I spent the last few hours of the trip stalking around swearing 'never again', but I guess the next three weeks will give me the answer as to whether all the sheepery and blind, ignorant obedience is worth all the hassle.
Oh, and remind me to tell you about Sam The Bastard's latest escapade. *Groan*
Still, I brought plenty of tea bags and it's only ten bucks for 24 hours 'net access from the hotel. Which reminds me--
In the bar after dinner (nice burger, had a good laugh with the waiter too) the conversation turned to tattoos. Unsurprisingly, considering the guy on the stool next to mine had eyes on stalks. Anyway.
Turns out it's illegal in South Carolina to get a tattoo.
Why?
Oh, America....
MAKE THE BLOODY MOST OF IT BECAUSE IT AIN'T NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!
I am NOT putting myself through that... that... ridiculous palaver again. And i even dressed like a sodding grownup to avoid hassle. Well, as far as the eagle-eyed, crew-cut, All-American Homeboy behind the desk at Homeland Security went then yeah, it worked. I just lurked behind Slay, gave him my fingerprints and tried to look harmless on camera and we got through in record time.
But the rest of it. Jesus. I swear, one day I'm going through security stark bollock naked and save myself a lot of bloody hassle.
Tell me, what am i going to hide in my boots? The New Rocks, yes. You could hide a lot of shit in those. Thick soles, mysterious metal bits...
But my boxer boots? They're sodding well skin tight!
The truth is that we've lost. We have lost the battle against fear, and it shows in every move you make. Don't smoke in here - you're in the middle of one of the most polluted cities anywhere in London, and people are worried about cigarettes? - don't do this, take this off, let me x ray you, are you up to no good...?
Bah.
But no, we can't x ray you BECAUSE YOU MIGHT GET CANCER--
FFS.
Fat chick with bright red boots. Stare. She looks different, should we be afraid? (Let me take this jacket off, really give you something to stare at.) OMG, look away from the big guy, look awaaaaay!
This time they let me through with my lighters, but examined my belt buckle (plain brass) and my nicotine gum very closely. I was tempted to set light to something just to annoy them.
But no, I was a good girl. I did what i was told, endured the cattle-truck of economy air travel, kept my head down, baaaaah. We're sheep. We let ourselves be intimidated and threatened until we lose what little freedom we had just to extend our miserable lives just a little longer. For what purpose? To cower in our foxholes in terror of the next attack? Bah. Sheep.
But the love I have for flying hasn't diminished; there is nothing like the feeling of looking down onto the clouds, feeling the winds vibrate the metal tube you're riding, look over the horizon and want to point the nose of the aircraft for that cloud formation there and see what's on the other side of it...
As the Road calls to
rathenar, the Sky calls to me.*Sigh*
I spent the last few hours of the trip stalking around swearing 'never again', but I guess the next three weeks will give me the answer as to whether all the sheepery and blind, ignorant obedience is worth all the hassle.
Oh, and remind me to tell you about Sam The Bastard's latest escapade. *Groan*
Still, I brought plenty of tea bags and it's only ten bucks for 24 hours 'net access from the hotel. Which reminds me--
In the bar after dinner (nice burger, had a good laugh with the waiter too) the conversation turned to tattoos. Unsurprisingly, considering the guy on the stool next to mine had eyes on stalks. Anyway.
Turns out it's illegal in South Carolina to get a tattoo.
Why?
Oh, America....
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 04:05 am (UTC)*picks jaw off of floor*
You know what Andy? What you said about fear?
You're are absolutely fucking right.
*pets first tattoo which has more meaning now then it ever did*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 12:26 pm (UTC)I'm amazed that the UK hasn't retaliated by cavity-searching every American entering the country :P
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 12:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 05:09 pm (UTC)Ooh, brilliant idea. I'd want that too for Germany. *puts on rubber glove*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 04:21 am (UTC)Two hours....
*MILDLY FREAKS OUT*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 04:30 am (UTC)I DEMAND TO BE SEEN GODDAMMIT.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 02:08 pm (UTC)Email me your cell number and I'll give you a call - we have plenty of spare time and a car on this visit, so we'll run over to see you!
*HUGS* At last, LOL!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 02:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 05:17 am (UTC)[shudder]
I hope you have a good time while you're here, though. And here's an answer for your question "Why is tattoing illegal in South Carolina?"
http://www.tattoodaily.com/mag/xroads/
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 12:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 10:10 am (UTC)American security is a bitch. I had to do it at god-knows in the morning coming over the Canadian-American border - it was bleak and empty and I kept expecting to see a bloke in an SS uniform come around the corner, but by the sounds of it, road-border control is still less bad than airport security. At no point did I have to take my boots off, anyway.
But yes, I hear you. The terrorists have won - and the worst thing is that they're too busy being afraid to actually implement half the sensible, low-key policies that would protect them the way we have. Did you know that in America, leaving your luggage lying around to mark your place in a Greyhound queue is convention? Try that in England and the bomb squad would be up your ass in five seconds...
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 03:14 pm (UTC)Welcome back.
I don't have any new animal stories, really, but I can tell you all about the toes and eyes we get in the lab. *snort* It's true. There is nothing stranger than looking into a histo jar only to see an eyeball looking back. Good stuff.
Two weeks today. You ready?
Hank
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 05:18 pm (UTC)I can't wait to go through that whole freaking ordeal in nine days. At least I am a looking a little less
boringconspicious. ;)But did't they take fingerprints and a picture of your face two years ago already? I thought it was the same procedure.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 06:15 pm (UTC)10 days :D
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 09:33 pm (UTC)Also, fuck South Carolina, it's a crappy state anyway. We've got twelve parlors in Asheville alone. Because North Carolina is the only Carolina worth the hassle.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 01:29 am (UTC)For what it's worth. *grin*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 02:18 am (UTC)Sorry about the security rigamarole. (Actually... they let you keep your lighters on the plane? I thought they weren't allowed.)
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 02:43 am (UTC)